My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
time to smoke my breakfast
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
