you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
