speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
