my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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