Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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