I heard we made out
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
