well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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