I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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