Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
