Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
