Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
