I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
