u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
