I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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