Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
