if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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