Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
