At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
