You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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