you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
