Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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