Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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