i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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