You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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