Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
