It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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