Girls should come with a carfax report
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
