he wants to bone in the snuggie
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
