i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
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After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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