I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
