just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
