lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
