She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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