so explain again why im purple
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours