Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its not stalking. its research.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.