There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.