All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you