first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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