he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize