I will die if light touches me.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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