that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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