i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
