Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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