id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
