I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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