man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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