Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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