Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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