just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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