coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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