My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
