We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize