whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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