It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
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Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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