woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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