if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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