I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
