If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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