what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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