I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
