The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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