nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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