he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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