Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
